i think freckles, stretch marks, tattoos, bruises, birthmarks and scars are probably the coolest thing, you started with almost a blank canvas and look at u now, all this evidence that you’ve lived and the sun has shone on you and you’ve grown and maybe tripped up a few times and liked an image so much u made it a permanent part of u, beautiful.
ok apparently if a duckling imprints on a human and doesn’t meet other ducklings he ends up believing he’s a human too. that’s unbelievable. what if im just a duckling with an overactive imagination. what if im just a sleeping duckling and this is all a dream
i just really hope all of you find someone who is really cool that you can love and have sex with and all that shit but you can also talk politics and about evolution. someone you don’t cling to at parties but you nonchalantly grab their ass when you walk by them in the crowd and someone you reach for at 2am in between dreams to cuddle.
me:*watches thot ass waitress pour a lil too much water for my liking*
me:you want my man or something?
me:i'm just trying to figure out why u pour his glass first? im closer? why his water got so much ice?
me:I mean the glass already sweating bitch why u think he so dehydrated? im the only bitch who put ice in his glass.
me:everybody else got 3 ice square cubes and he got 5 circle ones bitch u think u slick huh? a circle for every minute u gon suck his dick huh? spelling out morris code for u can raw me in ice cubes huh?
him:aye calm down
me:nah cause she wanna give u 5 ice circles for what? its 72 degrees and mild 1 ice wud have been just fine. bitch gimme a male waiter--matta fact bitch when u get off cause its one too many ice circles and u think fat meat aint greasy
This boy at Target asked if I would hold his hand because his ex girlfriend just walked in with a new guy, so naturally I felt bad and held his hand while strolling around Target for a bit. Then it donned on me, with no other couple in sight, that was the best damn pick up line ever pulled.